January 1, 2018

I’m escaping as I always have. Escaping to another world, another city. What am I escaping from? Perhaps from an unhappy relationship at home. More than perhaps, perhaps.

Disappointed there hasn’t been messages from some people but I’ll deal with it. Envious of other people, feel bad for that but I just want selfishly to have my own happiness too.

Its not been an easy year. Wins and losses. More wins but so much hard work too. Some days I miss him, other days I just feel nothing and can just delete our photos without any qualm. Most days I feel ready to date. Other days I just feel tired.

I love my job now that m has left. God that was such a pain to deal with. I still have yet to wrap my head around what I need to do – tons and I don’t quite know how to do so yet.

What were the best parts of 2018? Peter voser. Being called a Noticer. Reconnecting with people. Gardening. Lele qiqi videos. Taking business class.

Worst? Dealing with him being away. Breaking up sucks but it wasn’t as bad. The last few months at mg. dealing with M and sticking to letting her go despite all the nonsense she pulled off. Moments of self doubt and fear.

accomplished? Jes thanking me and asking her to give her time to adjust to being part of a team. Having 40 ppl have fried chicken with me. Getting to US and Toronto unscathed.

So where do we go from here? I want to say upwards onwards forwards but there’s that part of me that’s like, well yeah maybe? Maybe not? That’s probably what my boss was referring lol. I daren’t hope in fear that it will turn out the worst possible ever. Ridiculous but true.

Other random things: Im drawn to death and dying. I want to dance again. Catharsis.

 

 

focus on health. Focus on getting that scope done, that exercise regime going.Focus on my main work kpi. Focus on being brave and on braving. Focus on building a strong team. Focus on really experiencing Everyday. Focus on actually implementing one thing I’ve learnt. Focus on giving people the gift of my time and attention.

 

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