February 1, 2017

This parting is hard to bear, much harder than expected. At random moments, I’m filled with sadness and the tears roll even before I can control it. I don’t mean to be sad, I know its for the better but when your best friend isn’t by your side, you just feel a little lost, a little down, a little sad. When you don’t know when you’ll next see them again, that little sad becomes a little scared too. You realise how dependent you have been, which is scary too cos you swore to be fiercely independent, not to let anyone too close that they can hurt you. Well, that plan failed. And so the tears come as I miss you, think of you, love you and pray for you. I pray for your heart to be filled with courage to approach people and ask for things you normally wouldn’t dare ask, I pray for opportunities to come your way and for you to be able to grab them – after all, you’d spent so much effort getting ready. I pray for the right people to be sent your way, the ones who see who you are and value that. I pray that you will be in good health so that you can focus and be sharp, in speaking with people or in assessing them. I pray that you will be kept safe, every step of the way no matter where you are. I pray for strength and grit, for the both of us, because this is not an easy path. Most of all, I pray that you’ll come home happy, safely, and that we can have wimi and porridge again soon.

Do you think I’m hypocritical, god? I always ask for things and come to you when I’m in bad shape and forget you when things go well. Will it be better if my prayer were solely for him, and not for my selfish needs? I don’t know, but I hope you’ll still hear me out anyway.

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