October 31, 2016

after a whole morning of not eating, and then an evening of bingeing, and a night of insomnia, i concluded that i’m having a case of the blues. there’s also the anxiety, heart racing for no reason. how am i? well my heart is not calm, my mind is not still.

i suppose its pointless looking for a trigger, because in most depression cases there is none, so i can only focus on mood lifting activities.

a monster calls was weird but yet poignant, especially where he finally admitted to the monster, the truth was that he didnt want his mum to die. and how the monster said, its in letting go that you can let go. doesnt make sense but yet is all the sense required.

i have alot to learn, let go, trust, all that. i have to make sure that i remain true to myself. if i cannot be honest with my own self, how can i possibly be honest with anybody else?

today is just one of those days where i feel it all. i feel it all abit too much, its making me weepy, emotional, at little things that move and touch me. nothing too weepy/emo sad sort of weepy. i love the way it feels when i have a breakthrough and its almost like i have parted the clouds and risen above it all. and after that, is just the quiet knowing that all will be ok and that i am enough.

 

 

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