October 19, 2016

what an emotional week.

i’m crying because i’m upset that K is leaving the firm. tbh idk why i would but perhaps because it feels like people i’m familiar with and work well together are leaving one by one. perhaps too, was the way she was let go.

i wanted to talk about my disappointment. then wanted to talk about gratitude cos i didnt want to remain negative then now just feel so tired i dont know what to type anymore.

its hard to manage my emotions when there are so many to contend with. all are fighting for my attention to resolve. i’m actually abit worried about health, why am i always sneezing in the mornings and sometimes find it hard to breathe. hopefully not asthma.

he also feels quite distant. either preoccupied or distracted. i know im sensitive i know i shld chill but i dont get the level of attention i feel i used to get and so that makes me feel rejected. like he doesnt care anymore. most likely untrue but well the infantile mind is the very devil.

so stupid, why have all these unnecessary feelings that i -have- to make sense of? why do i even bother trying to understand what others are saying or doing? Why cannot just accept it and not read so much into things? frustrates me greatly to be so sensitive and yet not have the balls to probe and ask.

stupid girl. you are enough.

i am enough.

 

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