May 31, 2016

not cool.

this is not cool.

this feeling i’m feeling is not cool.

its one thing to make myself be ok if he goes out with a female friend one on one. its another to be unable to get hold of him or not having updates because then all sorts of wild thoughts just let loose. did he get into some accident? did his phone die? did he lose the phone? is he having too much fun with his female friend he has forgotten me?

i am not cool. im an insecure freak. i thought i be cool with all this freedom and do what you want shit but clearly i’m so not cool. ive never been a fan of the boyfriends hanging out with female friends esp those i’ve never met or dislike. but this time it felt different and i never felt i needed to worry about it. clearly, i’m not cool.

it makes me feel like some insecure control freak. i dont like it. i cant help it.

why cant i be more cool? why cant i just not give a fuck? Me, help me manage myself through this?

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