May 9, 2016

i gotta be better at dealing with conflict and negative feelings.

i was actually a little proud of how i worked out a small issue. actually i wanna say i’m proud of how i handled it but idk why i had to add the word ‘little’ before it

was feeling upset and annoyed cos i just wanted to spend time with g but then i had to wake early, have brekkie with his mum, go home whilst he go for meeting, and then have another dinner with his mum. i couldnt get why on earth we had to eat twice with her, and on mothers day (didnt we alr say we do it once shot??? like not fair also to keep eating with her and not my mum and hello its damn crowded and at 5pm we still havent decided where to go) and why he kept saying to eat at my place but like, we are at jurong and need to pick her to drive to my place then drive her back then drive somewhere then drive me back?

din help i was alr irritated by my mum and the house discussion. i just felt like no one is listening to me and taking away things i want.

so instead of my usual clam up shut up withdrawal, i decided to count to 10 and ask questions to clarify (benefit of doubt, instead of jump to conclusions)

as it turned out, the approach seemed to work cos he seriously didnt think into all those things i did and therefore when i raised it, it did make sense afterall.

had to swallow pride to ask questions because.. what if he didnt wanna hang out with me? then i’m like putting up myself for rejection. and what if my assumptions were wrong? suddenly feels like things got real and bubble of honeymooness burst.

feels like i might be making a molehill out of nothing, but made the week end that much sweeter knowing things can be resolved if i decided to be brave enough to ask.

 

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