i’ve not cried so uncontrollably, so hard, so

i’ve not cried so uncontrollably, so hard, so continuously, ever in my life as i did the past week. the thoughts pop into my head insidiously, the tears well up, and then i sob regardless of where i am or what i may be doing. 

my heart aches. for the loss. not what is no longer ours, but for what may slip away from us or already has. 

i weep for the unintended consequences of my actions. what started out with the purest of intentions and has resulted in the most unthinkable of scenarios we have no way out of. 

i cry because i am just so tired and i simply do not have the strength to deal with even the smallest of dramas that come my way. 

the tears come in floods because they have been kept inside, too much for too long.