talking life.

June 23, 2010

i had a rather lovely lunch today. well actually i had a pretty good day.
lunch was lovely cos w came down to look for me assert his presence and we went for some awesome peranakan food at the expo. halfway thru ordering, my cute intern msges ‘omg! your best fren is eating with us at macau express! come and demonstrate!’ (one of the expo ppl kept msging me and stuff so she was naturally ‘concerned’ haha) but tats not the pt cos i tink it was post macau express tat was the most fun bit cos of the rain and running thru it together was just kinda literally refreshing and totally carefree. ok so i did worry abt my makeup but jus a wee bit only la.

post lunch, i was geisha-ing ard, talking to the other exhibitors, and i tink its a nice feeling tat ppl like talking to you and like you enough generally to feel like you are one of them. i mean, these ppl are doctors and emeritus profs and wat not and half the time i have no idea wat they are gg on about (glycomics!! FISH!! grah i cant rem!) but still having them recognise you and asking you stuff and getting to know you, tats a pretty nice feeling. but socialising has its pitfalls. cos by the end of the day i was so drained.

but i learnt never to underestimate the power of a smile or a kind gesture. in these 2 or 3 days, these small gestures have gotten me link ups and deals i’d otherwise have missed out on. if not for a tentative smile at this seemingly cheena ah pek, i’d not have gotten to speak to an eminent prof, nor the CEO of a major lab. if not for helping my neighbours and/or talking to them, i wont have gotten my good prices, nor tie ups with major pharm companies. and cos i was silly enough to let a speaker use my com and format her slides for her, i’d have missed a collaboration opportunity.

which is timely, i think, mostly due to the long thread of emails tat hae been occupying my mailbox and heart the past day or so. its true, i get very upset when ppl cancel on me. i hate it. cos i dont have a habit of flying kite and if tat day is fixed, its fixed unless 1) sick 2) work 3) super duper bad mood. i’m guilty of being late for sure, and i know i have my moods. but well i guess its abit diff when you are the organiser. cos for one, it wasnt a last min thing. for 2, its ok if one or 2 cancel on you, but a huge majority? wat are the odds? and its not like its the first time. thirdly, it jus makes the organiser feel shitty cos it makes them feel like they’ve wasted time, no one appreciates it and like they totally unimportant. talking to w, i realised, even tho i love organising events, how much less ‘heartache’ i had these few months cos i wasnt orgainisng stuff much. its not in reference to any group, sweeping statements as you may, childish and petty even, but these are feelings tat are experienced and as true as they can be. perhaps i need to grow up. or wake up. or both.

but such is life. it suddenly made me miss the simplicity regular fridays of squash/dance and decadent ulu dinners. musch as i love spontaneity, its the certainty and consistency of things tt keep me sane. after 2 mths of slogging over this conf, i’m looking forward to going back to a slightly more normal life again.

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