March 22, 2018

From opening my ice cream cup to switching off my TV screen when I fall asleep. From making sure i have a blanket covered over me at night to helping me change back unused currency.


daily >3

March 1, 2018

  • boss copy and pasting my email to the wider team
  • colleagues who buy me puff and pies
  • talking rubbish at 6pm about PhD, DP and EDs because we’re all so tired of work
  • that tiny jolt when he holds my fingers tight or that contentment when he kisses my forehead
  • arranging to meet mich downstairs just so we can buy bubble tea
  • m thanking me for being there for my boss and helping him out with team stuff

February 19, 2018

i tink i shldnt invest much in us.

not now anyway.

you said you’re serious about me but then preferred to talk about this another day. i think you’re not ready.

but i need you to be ready and want this on your own accord, and not because i asked.

i have to take a step back, un-invest and be ready to let go.

i mean its not just you who has to think through. i also need to think whether or not this is something worth investing in. and right now im just not sure. so i was hoping you could shed some perspective.



February 18, 2018

I still don’t quite know what’s the deal between us. What does it mean?

February 15, 2018

yesterday left me thoroughly confused.

did i misunderstand what you had said about me being important to you?


i recognise that i shouldnt always think of worst case scenario but i just dont want to get hurt. i dont want to open my heart to someone only to realise they didnt want it. i want signs so that i can be sure its ok to do so.

i get that perhaps in the office setting, its just abit awkward to show anything. so squeezing my hand before i left – yup ok got that. that was reaffirming. and then you also said thanks dear which was like sweet but also huh is that a casual flippant thing?

the key i think was that i didnt get a good sense of who you were out with on vday. and i didnt hear from you the whole night. which means to me you were out with someone who commanded quite a significant amount of your attention. perhaps i shld have just been straightforward and asked.


如果你快乐 不是为我
会不会放手 其实才是拥有

February 12, 2018


原本坚决想’walk into love’的我,感觉似乎快要‘ fall in love’









January 21, 2018

reminder to self, not to invest too much, too soon.

that its ok, to let things go with the flow, because what is meant to be will happen regardless.

its nice to be liked, its that eagerness to want to have certainty to be part of another half.

but its ok its ok its ok. something good doesnt require that much effort.

January 1, 2018

I’m escaping as I always have. Escaping to another world, another city. What am I escaping from? Perhaps from an unhappy relationship at home. More than perhaps, perhaps.

Disappointed there hasn’t been messages from some people but I’ll deal with it. Envious of other people, feel bad for that but I just want selfishly to have my own happiness too.

Its not been an easy year. Wins and losses. More wins but so much hard work too. Some days I miss him, other days I just feel nothing and can just delete our photos without any qualm. Most days I feel ready to date. Other days I just feel tired.

I love my job now that m has left. God that was such a pain to deal with. I still have yet to wrap my head around what I need to do – tons and I don’t quite know how to do so yet.

What were the best parts of 2018? Peter voser. Being called a Noticer. Reconnecting with people. Gardening. Lele qiqi videos. Taking business class.

Worst? Dealing with him being away. Breaking up sucks but it wasn’t as bad. The last few months at mg. dealing with M and sticking to letting her go despite all the nonsense she pulled off. Moments of self doubt and fear.

accomplished? Jes thanking me and asking her to give her time to adjust to being part of a team. Having 40 ppl have fried chicken with me. Getting to US and Toronto unscathed.

So where do we go from here? I want to say upwards onwards forwards but there’s that part of me that’s like, well yeah maybe? Maybe not? That’s probably what my boss was referring lol. I daren’t hope in fear that it will turn out the worst possible ever. Ridiculous but true.

Other random things: Im drawn to death and dying. I want to dance again. Catharsis.



focus on health. Focus on getting that scope done, that exercise regime going.Focus on my main work kpi. Focus on being brave and on braving. Focus on building a strong team. Focus on really experiencing Everyday. Focus on actually implementing one thing I’ve learnt. Focus on giving people the gift of my time and attention.


December 19, 2017

im in indianapolis, never thought i’d be here. i had an album called USA2017, but how things have changed since then.

i’m here because of a wedding that has since been called off. 3 of us girls are now single. its funny because we all thought that this relationship was IT for us. who knew.



November 13, 2017

they say that after you graduate from school, it gets increasingly hard to make real, genuine friends. because, at work, you generally cant.

i beg to differ.

the past years have proven over and over that it is very possible for good, solid friendships to form and last. this year has been the same. from strangers, acquaintances, co workers, to finding and reconnecting with long lost friends, i’ve been at the receiving end of all this love and support, especially when I least expected it. who’d have thought the last year would have been spent discussing books and change management best practices with my bff? or to have multiple conversations in the same whatsapp chat and know exactly what each other is talking about? or laugh uncontrollably over tinder horror stories and awful profiles? who’d have thought my former intern would have called out to me in a crowd of noisy barking dogs? who’d have thought i’d pick up tahiti dance, for goodness sakes? or be able to discuss retirement plans in an onsen? or have warm drinks every morning and roxx music after work? or shed tears together over a much beloved puggy who showed us what it meant to be brave and positive? or just simply allowing me to be part of all the major life events that happen in your life, be it marriage, kids or even in death?

you have all helped me grow, stretch and mould me into the person i am today. whether it was by scolding, reminding, pampering, reinforcing, listening or my fave – providing me with good food – thank you. i wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

ps special shoutout to Peter Voser who may never see this, but in case you do, you have no idea how much your words meant to me. that was -the- career highlight of my life so thank you!